Anonymous: Wario, I'm also thinking of dumping my kinda-racist white boyfriend. What can I say to him when I ditch him that will truly devastate him?
Show him this picture
And when he says "Whats this?" respond “it’s a single cracker, just like you”.
cloudy with a chance of why the fuck am i outside
Age 5: i wanna be part of the xmen
Age 18: i wanna be part of the xmen
DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
DC: I didn't-
Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
i put headphones in 20 minutes ago and forgot to play music: a novel by me
life hack: remember to compliment people on qualities other than their looks. remind them of their kindness, thoughtfulness, and intelligence. tell them about how powerful and capable they are.
when you dont do your homework and your teacher forgets to check it
babies screaming when you’re out shopping
i was just showing my mom how to paste something into her text message on her phone and i was like “double tap in the the text box” “the text box” “the text box” and she was just pointing to random places on her screen that weren’t the text box and all i could think of was